Tuesday, October 16th, 2007...7:49 pm
That’ll Put Some Lead in Your Pencil.
I’m not a big fan of wearing a bunch of makeup. In fact, my daily routine generally consists of three products: eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick.
Of course, being that I only use three products (plus the occasional dot of concealer), I’m kinda picky about them.
I prefer pencil eyeliner because it’s a lot easier to correct first-thing-in-the-morning-haven’t-had-my-fucking-coffee-I-can-barely-see mistakes. You get it a little crooked, no biggie, just smudge with a Q-tip for the “smoky” look. Liquid liner goes on darker, the actual line is very defined, and you have to wait for the shit to dry or risk looking like Rocky the Raccoon. You’d think that the wet factor would actually make it EASIER to fix mistakes, but you would be wrong. (Of course, it could just be that I’m a dumbass.)
There are about 3 brands of pencil liner I like. One is Mary Kay, one is Rimmel London, and one is Revlon. These all go on smoothly and smudge when needed without smudging right off the face.
Mascara must be waterproof, and it must be BROWN. Not black, not black/brown, BROWN. That leaves about one brand – Maybelline Great Lash. (Note to those who don’t believe in drugstore brands – the expensive shit doesn’t come in brown either. I’ve looked. Black. EXTRA MEGA BLACK. Black/brown.) I’ve tried the other colors, and they make me look like an aging whore. My fellow redheads will feel my pain on this one. I don’t know why it is that other of the fair-skinned can wear black mascara and look just fucking fine – my two blonde best friends wear exclusively black mascara, and even black/brown makes them look washed out.
That leaves the lipstick. I’m a big fan of the CoverGirl Outlast and the Revlon Colorstay. Know why? Those are the only two stay-on-all-day-kind that come in any shade that isn’t pink. Of course, lipsticks tend to look pink on me, even when they’re not. It’s so strange – my mom has the opposite problem. Pink looks brown on her. We could wear the same color lipstick, and you would swear it was two different colors.
But NOW they’re saying that lipstick has lead in it.
And that gets to the actual point of this story. I saw an article that showed the lead levels in lipstick, and the author talked about different brands which were more natural. She said, though, that some of the lipsticks, despite being made of mostly identifiable plant-based ingredients, could not be considered vegan if the dye in them was made from bugs.
I knew vegans didn’t eat meat or eggs or fish or drink milk or wear leather or support the destruction of animals in any way. I get that. But BUGS?? BUGS COUNT?
Ok, maybe the thought of crushed bugs on your lips is not so appealing. So I’ll just not think about that part. But the thought of said crushed bugs violating some ethical dietary choice never would have occurred to me.
I mean, I’ve had a few moments of fun at the expense of self-righteous vegetarians, namely, an ex. He wasn’t a strict vegetarian/vegan – he ate fish, milk, and eggs – but dear god I hated the restaurant ordering. “I can’t have ANY meat. Is THIS made with meat? Is this? Bitch bitch can’t eat anything on the menu can’t believe I’m paying $20 for a piece of bread yada yada yada.” Sorry, but that shit gets on my nerves. Call ahead. Know what restaurants are friendly to your dietary choices. Don’t fucking sit there and pout through dinner, thus spoiling mine.
So I kind of neglected to tell him that certain sauces on some seafood dishes were made with beef or chicken stock, and then listened to him go on and on about how good the dishes were.
(Why he didn’t ask at that restaurant, I don’t know, except that it was mostly “American” seafood on the menu, so I guess he thought it was safe, unlike, say, Tex-Mex or Asian food. )
Anyway, back to the topic, which was “how the fuck do bugs count as not being vegan?”
And, if that’s the case, why have I been acquainted with vegans who would practically try out for “Stomp” every time a bug reared its head in their dwelling place?
While we’re on the subject, let’s talk about why I don’t see the point of being a vegan. (I know I’m probably losing some liberal hippie cred over this one, but oh fucking well.) I can understand not wanting to promote cruel and unusual treatment of animals. I can understand wanting to recycle, buy a fuel-efficient car, use sustainable energy sources and biodegradable products. I’m all for farmer’s market veggies, not eating so many chemicals, etc. But for fuck’s sake. We’re at the top of the food chain. It’s ALL a part of nature. Everything feeds on everything else. We can try to make sure the food animals don’t suffer unnecessarily, but in the meantime, human beings did not evolve to eat only plants. Our teeth are all wrong, for one thing.
However, if you decide that killing animals is wrong, ok, fine. But why no eggs and milk? Those don’t kill animals. But I’m quite sure that the chemicals used to make your non-leather shoes and purses and belts destroy some ecosystems. Unless you’re using 100% cotton canvas everything, you’re still killing things. Which is worse? Ruining the lakes and rivers and oceans with chemical runoff, or eating a nice juicy bacon-wrapped filet mignon?
At least filet mignon doesn’t have lead in it.
My New Favorite Song: “Come Together” (Joe Cocker, on the Across the Universe Soundtrack. Go see the movie - that was my favorite scene, I think.)
Today’s Time Waster: How many levels of wrong can there be in one three-minute video?
What I’m Craving: Some more of the cookie bars that one of the girls at work made. They’re like crack in a pan. I think they’re called Neiman Marcus Bars.
20 Comments
October 16th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
I don’t mind vegans as long as they don’t cram their views down my throat, because that’s not good for digesting the bacon cheeseburger I just ate.
October 16th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Oh, and I was going to post that video on my next video roundup. Heck, I still may!
October 16th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
Many make-up experts point to the Great Lash as the best mascara there is. (As well as other drug store brands.) It’s my favorite too. (I also ONLY wear brown. We are so the same.)
There’s a vegetarian in my knitting group, and I swear, sometimes I want to punch her lights out because she’s constantly saying gross shit about not wanting “to eat blood and guts” while I’m trying to eat my stupid turkey sandwich.
October 16th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
Black mascara makes pale women look like aging whores? Uh oh!
October 16th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
I can get away with just mascara if I miss my lashes and poke myself in the eyelid. Then it’s just blend, blend, blend, curse, curse, curse. It’s hard to poke myself exactly the same way on each side.
And yeah - brown waterproof ONLY. I’ve used Great Lash before, but right now my favorite is that Queen Latifah mascara with the purple plastic brush. I hated it at first, but I guess it has to be broken in or something. It’s hard finding that stuff in waterproof and brown, though - at least in Canada.
Also, vegans will go bonzai on your ass if you suggest that bugs don’t have feelings, too. Hell, I knew a guy who wanted to be so vegan that he wanted to eat only fruit and seeds, rather than devouring - “killing” - a plant. For example, an apple can be picked when it’s ripe, and that’s OK because the tree will still be there. On the other hand, a carrot or a potato has to give up its life just to be eaten. Mind you, I was a little drunk when I listened to him, so I almost understood and didn’t feel like slapping him. Now, though, I’d love to sacrifice a pumpkin over his head.
His point about milk and eggs was that chickens and cows are caged up and not given room to mill about as they are wont to do; when they’re raised for production, a lot of farms will just have rows of chicken cages or stalls that hook up to the cows’ udders with machiney bits. He didn’t want to encourage this, so his advice was to buy “free range” chicken if I wasn’t going to convert to vegetarianism.
October 17th, 2007 at 12:22 am
For YEARS I have been saying that IF I had to KILL my own meat then I would definitely become vegetarian. Last year I decided to make the LEAP and make my actions and words match. I am now officially vegeatrian (but not vegan…baby steps) I do NOT believe in KILLING of any kind. I will not be part of KILLING animals for my food consumption. I’m OK if YOU (or anyone else feels the need to kill, but I can’t get behind that) I don’t miss eating meat one bit. I was ready and I don’t regret it one bit. I am meatless.
October 17th, 2007 at 2:23 am
Hey gal! Thanks for the note on my diary! Finally getting around to catching up with all my pals! As for the vegan issue, it all seems so extreme to me. And I’ve known people who had to give it up for health reasons, or that ol’ “well, I’m a vegan, but I do have to eat fish from time to time.” It also reminds me of a girl I knew in college who was some big vegetarian, but she walked around in leather boots. But I think my fave comment on vegans is a line from the Simpsons. Lisa fell in love with some environmental tree hugger and he said to her “I’m a vegan level 5. I don’t eat anything that casts a shadow.” HAHAHAHHA!
October 17th, 2007 at 4:52 am
that was an insanely long introduction to the topic. i consider myself all kinds of awesome for having read through the make-up talk. RAWR! I RAWK! also, there will need to be some research done into seeing what eating certain meals causes Voltron. aside from that, i say eat everything. animals. bugs. other people.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:24 am
Witty: No, only pale redheads. Blondes and brunettes are fine with the black or black brown. Worry not, my brunette chickadee.
Boxx: I’m not so much into killing, but animals eat other animals in the wild. It’s part of the way nature works. Some of what goes on in meat packing plants and slaughterhouses isn’t pretty, I agree. I don’t think people should kill things they don’t plan to eat. And I think that if you are going to kill things to eat, you should definitely use as much of the carcass as possible (i.e., making leather out of pigs or cows; using chicken feathers for bedding or clothing, etc.) I just get tired of the shrillness about it…and the fact that clothing advertised as “vegan” most often features petrochemical byproducts. There’s always a balancing act somewhere. I would just prefer not to hear about my balancing act while I’m trying to chill out and eat a steak that costs way more than I should be spending on one meal but that I plan to savor every bite of.
Andria: She should remember that she is near pointy things.
Halo: i’ll email you the article. And I should really watch more of the Simpsons.
Lando: Machismo said that the kid stuffed a towel down the shitter. It probably finally broke loose. And consider a few brief paragraphs of makeup talk payback for the sheer amount of football to which I have been exposed.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:26 am
Kristen: Does it EXIST in Waterproof and Brown? If it does, I will hunt it down and make it my bitch. If I do manage to hunt it down, I will buy some for you and mail it to you.
October 17th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
I would love to try that drug store mascara but for some reason they make my eyes water. It’s the fragrance (or just the smell of them) that drives me insane. Maybe my eyeballs are vegan? Cuz I’m sure the hell not. If my kids were starving I’d kill you and feed you to them if I had to, otherwise I’m all for the meat section at the supermarket.
That video made the Star Wars geek in me commit suicide. Thanks, Loopy.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
It’s not like millions of cuddly critters don’t meat their horrible end in the massive whirling blades of organic vegan meatless combine harvesters.
October 18th, 2007 at 2:06 am
Lancome comes in brown. I wear black and they inadvertently gave me brown once. I was VERY irritated.
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:41 pm
First off, get your redheaded fingers to justforredheads.com. They have the best mascara for redheads (obviously). I’ve been wearing it for years and get tons of compliments (I save my black mascara for my goth days or should I say nights).
I totally agree with re: liquid eyeliner. I know I could never put it on w/o making a huge mother mess, so it’s pencils all the way for me.
I’m a vegetarian…been one for many many years. I, however, don’t feel the need to inflict my beliefs on others (except for veal), and even then I’m not vitriolic or hideous (at least I don’t think so). Vegans won’t eat honey or wear silk either. No way I could be a vegan. I love silk!
to say nothing of ice cream and cheese. I wear leather shoes (on occasion, although I mostly wear Chuck Taylors), but always say that I’m making sure that the cow didn’t die in vain and was completely used whenever anybody comments on it.
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:38 pm
I am a diehard user of Great Lash BLACK with the straight wand! Especially because my eyelashes are translucent and not even blonde. Also my lips are pale around the outer edges so without lip-liner my lips do not look as full as they actually are. I pretty much have to draw on my eyes and lips. But, tell me this, WHY waterproof for everyday use? That stuff damn near rips out your lashes when you go to remove it!!!!
October 24th, 2007 at 11:12 am
Oh yeah, watched the Star Wars video last night. And then read every single of the 1400+ comments. Dear God in Heaven, I’ll never get that “choreography” out of my mind…I think that outfit is also burned into my retinas.
December 3rd, 2007 at 12:34 am
First, if your ex ate fish and such, he wasn’t a vegetarian, he was a hypocrite.
I don’t eat any meat out of spiritual and ethical reasons (I’m Buddhist). So, while I despise and have a phobia of bugs, I still won’t kill them because I believe that the deliberate and intentional inflicting of suffering on any living being is wrong. Period.
To answer your question about vegan rules against eggs and milk (and honey): These products support the meat industry. Milk is only produced when a cow is lactating after having giving birth; the calf is taken to be raised for slaughter and the milk is diverted for human consumption. When the mother cow becomes too old, she too will meet her end at a meat grinder. The same holds true with chickens.
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