So, Valentine’s Day. That must mean it’s time for a gratuitous bit o’ fluff! The idea is to open up your music library (MP3 player, computer, wherever), and write down the songs that play with “Love” in the title. Lando did 11, I ended up with 15 before I got bored.
The Smiths […]
Why is it that, when I’m under stress, my body decides it’s time to revert to junior high and grow zits the size of Mount Everest? Seriously. I have one on the END OF MY NOSE that is making me look like Rudolph the Fucking Red-Nosed Reindeer.
So what’s the stress about, you ask? Moving. Lando […]
This, unfortunately, is not a joke.
I can’t believe that someone actually believes this is a good idea. Several someones, in fact, since the bill has co-authors. Wonder if they actually wrote this from scratch, or if they just borrowed some old Jim Crow laws and changed “black” or “Negro” to “obese?”
My question […]
So, guess who gets to be on a fucking jury?
Evidently, the Feds are pretty serious about their jury summonses. State court (which I managed to only get one of in the 15+ years since I registered to vote), you can call and whine, and they will let you out of it. Federal court, you better […]
I hate it when I go this long without updating, because then I feel like my first entry “back” needs to be all long and involved and tell stories and have pictures and rainbows and unicorns and frosting with sprinkles. So then I procrastinate more, and don’t finish my half-eaten entries, and it gets more […]
Two weeks ago, our senior paralegal walked out three days before a trial. Two of us remained. The partners, rather than hiring a third paralegal, decided to give the remaining two a secretary, which was actually a very nice thing….no more being a goddamn file clerk.
Today, the other paralegal gave notice.
There are at least 4 […]
Yay for commentary debate!
Just to clarify, though, lest anyone think I am a heartless, cold bitch who hates children and wants them to have more memories of KinderCare than their moms and dads:
I don’t think that kids’ stuff isn’t important. I do think, though, that if you have a job where there are a lot […]
I want to be an advice columnist when I grow up. Because seriously? The people doing it now? Are morons. Like this chick. From a recent column:
Q: My job is prone to last-minute emergencies.Two other people have the same position as I do. They both have children; I do not. Whenever one of these last-minute […]
Why the helpful soul at my office who buys a can of spray air freshener for each of the four stalls in the women’s restroom can’t buy them all the same flavor. It smells like a three-year-old who got into her cheap whore mamma’s perfume stash.
Why the fashion industry wants women to look […]
I have avoided posting lately, because seriously, work has been sucking. Every sentence I have started to type has made me sound like I have Tourette’s Syndrome. There are only so many permutations of “asshole,” “Boss,” “fucknugget,” “piles of paper,” and “shitstick” that you can type before you just start sounding redundant and getting comments […]
Guess what? This entry? It’s going to feature some nice bitching about work! I’m sure you’re all just SHOCKED.
I have a hearing next week in
St. Louis. In and of itself, this is not a horrible thing. Getting away from this increasingly weird-vibe shithole is somewhat appealing, but leaving at 7:30 Saturday morning for a hearing […]
I hate everyone at work lately. All of them.
My supervising paralegal is being a complete bitch and treating me like I’m retarded. There’s no need for that. Some of the things that I have to do right now are things that, because we’d been slow and hadn’t received a bunch of new […]
Ten things that are currently pissing me off (Pete initiated this trend today, and since I’m feeling cranky but simultaneously incapable of telling an actual beginning-middle-transitions-end story, I thought I would institute as a new, well, that M-word that I fucking think is stupid):
(1) Ms. Whiny. I don’t have another actual trial with her till […]
Amazon, you can kiss my white dimpled ass. The last time I preordered something from you (Harry Potter), it arrived in a special box on my doorstep the day it was released. But evidently, while you will cater and pander to book dorks, you’re leaving video game dorks out in the cold.
I pre-ordered World of […]
